The church teaches that homosexual tendencies, or “Same-Gender Attraction,” are not a choice. Why is it, then, that so many faithful members still insist that we chose this?
I sure as hell didn’t choose to be this way. Why would I? I’ve lived a very Mormon life, which included an incredibly difficult (and rewarding), full-time mission. I would love to marry and have kids, but that’s not a possibility for me in this life.
I do not know why Heavenly Father made me gay. I don’t know if He specifically assigned it to me, or allowed it to occur as the result of living in a fallen, mortal world. I do know that as a result of being gay, He expects different things from me than from others. Does that mean celibacy? Maybe. I don’t know. When I pray about that option I feel uneasy about it, which is usually God’s way of saying “ponder it out and tell me what you think about it.”
My ability to feel genuine affection and love isn’t impaired by being gay. I feel that this ability comes from Heavenly Father, and He wants me to develop and expand it so that I can someday love as He does. However, He’s made it clear he doesn’t expect me to develop and expand it with a wife.
If celibacy is seen as contrary to the plan of salvation for straight people, why is it expected of gay people? I refuse to believe that a loving Heavenly Father would make these expectations, then incapacitate me from living up to them.